Communicate like the boss

Vaidya Rama Prasad

​We all want to communicate like a leader, talk like a champion, behave like a winner and feel like a star. We can. We all can. 

We can, but we need to grow those muscles of confidence that we all have to start with. We need to water those little trees of power within us. And this article is all about how to grow those muscles and water those tree and grow them like a 99-story tower!

If being confident is easy, then, why do the majority of us turn into mice-like tiny animals looking for a hide-hole when an intimidating person approaches you?

You know, anyone can be intimidating, if we are ready to be a mice! 

Intimidating - like someone who is taller, bigger, lauder, higher in position, bigger in wealth, more eloquent than us, sometimes even just a little cuter than us! Arghhhh, we hate that last one. Don't we? But, luckily, that one only happens very very rarely. Phew! 

How do we take charge of the communication and be THE BOSS in this situation? The answer is the answer to the question - how do you eat an elephant? - Bit by bit! And the answer to how do we move a house? - brick by brick.

Yes. We can all be super-confident communicators if we can work one bit at a time or one brick at a time. Do you want to know how? If we address these little things, no one intimidates us. We always have amazing confidence. We walk like we own this world. 

​Are we ready to get in? 

The art of communication

• Communication is the process of exchanging information, ideas, or messages between two or more individuals or groups. Communication can occur through various channels, including spoken language, written text, visual media, or nonverbal cues such as body language and facial expressions.
• Effective communication involves transmitting information clearly and accurately, and ensuring that the intended message is understood by the recipient. It requires active listening, empathy, and an awareness of the cultural and social context in which the communication takes place.
• Communication is essential for building relationships, sharing knowledge, collaborating on projects, and achieving common goals. It plays a vital role in both personal and professional settings, and is a critical skill for success in virtually every aspect of life.

Tips to make communication effective.
Here are some tips to make communication effective:

1. Be Clear: It's important to be clear in your communication and use simple and concise language to convey your message.
2. Listen: Communication is not just about speaking, it's also about listening. Pay attention to what the other person is saying and respond accordingly.
3. Be Respectful: Respect is key to effective communication. Show respect for the other person's ideas and opinions, even if you don't agree with them.
4. Stay Focused: Stay on topic and avoid going off on tangents. This will help keep the conversation productive and prevent any confusion.
5. Use Examples: Examples can help clarify your point and make your message more relatable.
6. Ask Questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or to show interest in the other person's thoughts and opinions.
7. Be Open-Minded: Be open to different perspectives and ideas. This will help you learn and grow, and make the other person feel valued.
8. Use Body Language: Non-verbal communication, such as facial expressions and body language, can help convey your message more effectively.
9. Give Feedback: Provide feedback to the other person about what you understood from their communication. This helps ensure that both parties are on the same page.
10. Follow Up: Follow up after the conversation to ensure that everything is clear and any next steps are taken.

Tips to make a conversation sounds like I am confident.
Here are some tips to make your communication sound confident:

1. Use Assertive Language: Use language that is clear, direct, and confident. Avoid language that is tentative or vague.
2. Speak Clearly: Speak in a clear and confident voice. Avoid speaking too quickly or too softly, as this can make you sound uncertain.
3. Maintain Eye Contact: Maintain eye contact with the person you are communicating with. This shows that you are engaged and confident.
4. Avoid Filler Words: Avoid using filler words such as "um" or "like". These words can make you sound uncertain or hesitant.
5. Speak with Authority: Speak with authority and conviction. Use statements instead of questions whenever possible.
6. Prepare in Advance: If you are giving a presentation or speech, prepare in advance. This will help you feel more confident and in control.
7. Use Positive Language: Use positive language to convey your message. Avoid negative language or language that sounds apologetic.
8. Be Knowledgeable: Be knowledgeable about the subject you are communicating about. This will help you feel more confident and in control.
9. Embrace Silence: Embrace silence when necessary. It's okay to take a moment to gather your thoughts before speaking.
10. Practice: Practice your communication skills regularly. The more you practice, the more confident you will become.

Tips to make communication sound like I am responsible.
Here are some tips to make your communication sound responsible:

1. Use Clear and Direct Language: Use clear and direct language to convey your message. This will show that you are taking responsibility for what you are saying.
2. Own Your Mistakes: If you make a mistake, own up to it. This shows that you are responsible and willing to take accountability.
3. Use Action-Oriented Language: Use action-oriented language to convey your message. This shows that you are taking responsibility and are willing to take action to resolve any issues.
4. Be Timely: Be timely in your communication. Respond to messages and requests in a timely manner, and keep others informed of any changes or delays.
5. Be Proactive: Be proactive in your communication. Anticipate potential issues and address them before they become problems.
6. Be Consistent: Be consistent in your communication. This shows that you are reliable and responsible.
7. Follow Through: Follow through on your commitments. This shows that you are responsible and dependable.
8. Be Respectful: Be respectful in your communication. This shows that you are responsible and professional.
9. Focus on Solutions: Focus on solutions, not just problems. This shows that you are responsible and proactive in finding solutions to any issues.
10. Practice Active Listening: Practice active listening in your communication. This shows that you are responsible and attentive to the needs of others.

I am a doctor. How do I make each conversation with my patient confident?
As a doctor, here are some tips to make each conversation with your patient confident:

1. Use Simple Language: Use simple language that your patients can understand. Avoid medical jargon or technical terms that can confuse your patients.
2. Listen Carefully: Listen carefully to your patients' concerns and questions. This shows that you are interested in their well-being and can help build trust.
3. Use Empathy: Use empathy to show your patients that you understand their concerns and are willing to help. This can help ease their anxiety and build a stronger relationship.
4. Be Prepared: Be prepared for each conversation by reviewing your patient's medical history and any relevant information. This will help you answer questions confidently and accurately.
5. Be Confident: Be confident in your medical knowledge and recommendations. This shows that you are a trusted authority on healthcare and can help build trust.
6. Give Clear Instructions: Give clear instructions on medications, treatments, or lifestyle changes. This shows that you are confident in your treatment plan and can help your patients feel more in control of their health.
7. Encourage Questions: Encourage your patients to ask questions or clarify any doubts they may have. This shows that you are open to discussion and can help build trust.
8. Provide Reassurance: Provide reassurance to your patients by explaining the reasons behind your recommendations or treatment plans. This shows that you are confident in your decisions and can help ease any doubts or anxiety.
9. Follow Up: Follow up with your patients after each conversation to check on their progress or to answer any new questions. This shows that you are committed to their well-being and can help build a long-term relationship.
10. Be Respectful: Be respectful of your patients' concerns and preferences. This shows that you are a responsible and compassionate healthcare provider.

A list of phrases and sentences that can make my conversation confident and effective.
Here are some phrases and sentences that can make your conversation confident and effective:

1. "I understand your concerns, and here's what we can do to address them."
2. "Based on my experience, I recommend..."
3. "I'm confident that this treatment plan will help you feel better."
4. "I appreciate your question, and here's the answer..."
5. "Let's work together to find a solution."
6. "I have reviewed your medical history, and here's what we need to do next."
7. "I want to make sure you understand the risks and benefits of this treatment option."
8. "I appreciate your honesty, and here's how we can move forward."
9. "I'm here to support you through this process."
10. "Let's schedule a follow-up appointment to check on your progress."

Remember that the key to confident and effective communication is to be clear, direct, and empathetic. These phrases and sentences can help you convey your message in a way that builds trust and confidence with your audience.

Things I need to do to make sure to make myself confident and responsible.
Here are some things you can do to make yourself confident and responsible:

1. Set Goals: Set clear goals for yourself and create a plan to achieve them. This can help you feel more in control of your life and more confident in your abilities.
2. Take Responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Don't blame others or make excuses for your mistakes. Instead, learn from them and use them as opportunities for growth.
3. Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Get enough sleep, exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and practice stress-reducing activities such as meditation or yoga.
4. Build Confidence: Build your confidence by practising new skills or challenging yourself to step outside of your comfort zone. This can help you feel more capable and self-assured.
5. Communicate Effectively: Communicate clearly and effectively with others. Be honest, direct, and empathetic in your conversations, and always follow through on your commitments.
6. Be Accountable: Be accountable for your actions and the outcomes they produce. Don't shy away from difficult conversations or difficult decisions. Instead, take ownership of them and work to find solutions.
7. Learn Continuously: Keep learning and growing, both personally and professionally. Attend workshops or conferences, read books, and seek out new experiences that can broaden your knowledge and skills.
8. Stay Organized: Stay organized and focused on your goals. Use tools such as calendars or to-do lists to help you stay on track and manage your time effectively.
9. Build Relationships: Build positive and supportive relationships with others. Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you, and who share your values and goals.
10. Celebrate Your Successes: Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Acknowledge your achievements and use them as fuel to keep pushing forward.

Here are some books on effective communication.

1. "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler: This book offers practical advice on how to handle difficult conversations with confidence and effectiveness.
2. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie: This classic book offers timeless advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and win people over.
3. "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg: This book presents a powerful approach to communication that emphasizes empathy, honesty, and mutual understanding.
4. "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen: This book offers strategies for navigating complex conversations, resolving conflicts, and building stronger relationships.
5. "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert Cialdini: This book explores the science of persuasion and offers practical tips on how to influence others in a positive way.
6. "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It" by Chris Voss: This book offers practical advice on how to negotiate effectively, with a focus on building trust, empathy, and collaboration.
7. "The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism" by Olivia Fox Cabane: This book offers tips on how to develop charisma and confidence, with a focus on nonverbal communication and self-presentation.
8. These books can provide valuable insights and strategies for improving your communication skills and building stronger relationships with others.

Final note
To be a responsible, confident and effective communicator and doctor, here are the tips from one of our senior doctors are here: 

1. I would learn about the client in terms of names, their work, where they are from and what are they here for. 
2. I would have a mental checklist of the exact things I need to know from a meeting so that I can record each of them. 
3. I would tell them what we can do for them in this particular hospital. 
4. I would listen to their questions, concerns and needs in different parts of my notes. 
5. If there are things that require help from others, I would have a specific mark or header for that. 
6. I would put the groups of "I don't know what to do" in a separate box, consult my senior and get back to the patient. 
7. I would avoid talking on behalf of others without a clear understanding. 
8. During a conversation, if I don't understand something, I will go back to that point and clarify that with them.
9. I will give a summary of what we discussed at the end of each conversation. 
10. I thank them for their time with me. 
11. I tell them to contact me if they need ANYTHING (because,  I am the man/woman in charge and I am the man/woman who knows). 
12. Instead of promising, I would say "this is what we have seen in this kind of case" or "we provide the best Ayurveda treatments here" etc. unless I am 100% sure about it in which case I might say "these conditions are usually curable, but, let's see how well you are responding". 

Addressing the issues: 

1. Write down which aspect may be improved in your case to make your conversation more effective? 
   1. It's the language
      1. My language
      2. Their language
      3. Anything else? 
   2. It's the lack of information I have
      1. Where do I get the information? 
      2. Did I forget the info? 
      3. Anything else? 
   3. It's the lack of knowledge I have about health and medicine
      1. Where do I gather this from? Colleagues, books, or internet? 
      2. Anything else? 
   4. It's that lack of understanding about what they want to know
      1. Can they find it on the net? Do you need to google it? 
      2. Who might have this info? The reception, colleagues, the boss etc? 
      3. Anything else? 
   5. It's the lack of confidence
      1. Confidence can be defined as a feeling or belief in one's abilities, qualities, judgment, or power. It refers to the trust and assurance one has in themselves, their decisions, and their actions. Confidence is often associated with self-esteem and self-assurance and is an essential characteristic that can help individuals achieve their goals and overcome challenges. It can also be contagious, inspiring others to trust and believe in the person who exudes it. Confidence can be developed and strengthened through practice, experience, and positive reinforcement. Is it my confidence? If so, which aspect need to be upgraded? 
      2. Anything else? 
   6. I feel like I am intimidated by everyone else
      1. How are they doing it? Height, higher seat, talking over you, overly demanding? 
      2. It's the excessive talking, being loud and overly demanding: Be silent until they stop talking and start paying attention, and ask them what they want to know - softly, slowly and clearly. They should realise the mistake and calm down. 
   7. Something else. Which one? 
2. Make a list and talk to someone who you trust to solve any issues that you can't solve on your own. 
3. You know this is a great lesson that you are going to learn, so that one day you can help many others who might be in your situation today!

All the above is applicable to any part of our life - at home, in the community or at your office.

What do you think this article? 
Ask me any of your questions. I really want to help you.